Help Us

“I know, deep down, you’ve always wanted me, even if you won’t admit it.”

These words will forever be engrained in my 15–year–old mind. With these words, I hold traumatic memories of being forced down against my will, naked, on the bed of my high school best friend, who uttered these words in my ear while violating me.

Growing up in Catholic school, I was too often reminded of how it's supposedly the woman’s responsibility to protect herself from perverts and offenders, namely by dressing more modestly and watching alcohol consumption. Yet, I have struggled to comprehend this concept, as my own experience has involved none of these “typical” triggers of assault that women are blamed for. Because of that, I didn’t know how to prevent it from happening again, and while it seemed like I was the cause of my own problems, there was nothing tangible I could improve and change to protect myself.

I spent the rest of my high school career dreading the possibility it could happen again—and it did, two weeks before my graduation. Yet again, it was a situation entirely out of my control, and I searched for answers, reasons to explain why I had been cursed with such terrible luck, and ways that I could improve my own safety.

No one had stopped to say to me that, maybe, it wasn’t just my responsibility to prevent assault from happening. As a result, I came to college, not with the hope that it wouldn’t happen to me again, but with the expectation that it would. In what world should any human being have to accept the fact that the likelihood of being sexually assaulted greatly outweighs the possibility of many happy and normal college experiences? Clearly this cannot be something left in the hands of the victims to change. It so desperately needs the help of the broader community, to eradicate the expectation that 1 in 4 women are going to leave Penn with some type of traumatic sexual experience. I am asking you, on behalf of all women, to please, help us.